Federal Agency of Culture and Cinematography
Pilot big animation studio
Present
We live in Russia
The coat of arms of Russia is the two headed eagle,
mighty and proud.
In its centre is St. George, slaying a wicked dragon with his silver lance.
The flag of Russia has three colors: white, blue and red.
The capital of our homeland is Moscow
In the center of Moscow is the old Kremlin.
For centuries, the Kremlin has been home to great princes and tsars -
the rulers of Russia.
Their ancestor, the Great Prince Yaroslav the Wise,
is the namesake of the ancient Russian city of Yaroslavl.
The city's coat of arms shows the bear that Prince Yaroslav was said to have fought.
This city is also where, almost 300 years ago, the famous actor Fyodor Volkov
founded the very first Russian theater.
Yaroslavlians make marvelous glazed tiles
that decorate churches and homes.
Here the people made colored woodcuts
featuring amusing stories told with pictures.
And of course, here one can hear many amusing stories.
Each of them is like a precious gem.
Mountain of Gems
About Ivan the Fool (based on a Russian fairy tale)
There once were three brothers
Two were okay, but the third was Ivan the fool.
He did everything wrong.
Just look: rather than put the goat out to pasture,
he taught her to dance!
See how skinny she is, like a ballerina!
The brothers lived with no troubles, until one day they ran out of money.
So the brothers decided to sell the goat.
What's the use of her anyway? No milk, no meat!
- Ivan! - Ivan! Ivan!
So they sent the fool to the fair.
Ivan didn't want to part with the goat, but there was nothing for it!
So Ivan was walking through the woods and he heard...
...something squeaking
It was an old fir tree. The wind would blow and it would squeak.
"Why's the tree squeaking?" thought the fool,
"maybe it's bargaining for my goat??"
Well, if you want to buy, then buy! I don't mind selling it! The goat...
...costs 200 rubles! Not a ruble less!
- Get out your money!
But the fir tree just kept squeaking.
So the fool assumed that it wanted to pay later.
OK! I'll wait till tomorrow!
He tied the goat to the tree, said his goodbyes and went home.
- Well, did you sell the goat? - I did!
- For a good price?
- For... ouch!...
200 rubles!
- No way! - Show us the money, then!
I didn't get it yet, I was told to come tomorrow...
Oh, you simpleton!
And who did you sell her to?
To a fir tree in the forest. Why?
Hahahah! What a fool you are!!!
A tree doesn't know how to pay!
But there was a hollow in that tree.
And in that hollow... robbers hid their gold!...
Who ever heard of selling a goat to a tree?!
It never has any money!
Look here, fool...
Go back and don't return without the goat!
Hey, fir tree!
Either you give me the money, or give me the goat back!
I can't wait till tomorrow!
So! You're all talk and no action...
Am I gonna get anything from you?!
I don't joke around!
There you go, that's much better! No more of this "tomorrow" business!
Ah! Fool, where did you...
...get so much gold?
The fir paid for the goat!
No way!!!...
- Then let's split it! We're brothers, so let's share it like brothers!
They did a good job dividing it - a fair job.
Ivan, since he was a fool, got one whole coin.
But he was still pleased - he'd never had that much before!
With that coin the brothers sent Ivan to the city, to find a job.
No sense in loafing about the house!
He was hired as helper by a foreign noble.
Now see here, Ivan! Don't leave the door, guard it so that no robber gets in!
And feed my doggy well!
And look after her!
Don't spend your time counting crows!
You're hungry, huh?
Wait a sec...
One, two, three... and why am I not allowed to count them?
...4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
...11, 12, 13...
Oh! And I must guard the door, too! But where'd the doggy go?
Doggy! Doggy!...
Did she run away or something?
Hmm. What a mess!... Two jobs at once:
Don't leave the door, feed the dog, don't count the crows...
So Ivan went looking for the dog.
He went into the forest again.
Doggy! Doggy!
Suddenly he saw a hole, and in the hole was a bear.
- Hello, bear!! - Hello, Ivan!
What are you doing here?
What do you think... I fell into a hole, see?
Get me out Ivan, and I will help you.
So Ivan bent a young fir tree right into the hole.
Let go now!
So what are you... doing in the forest... with a door?
So Ivan told him his own story
Ha ha! What a fool you are!
Just for that, I'll eat you!
Don't worry, I'm kidding.
Now, help me, as you promised... You guard the door,
and I'll go look for the dog. Or the lady will punish me!
- Doggy! - Oh, I'll go with you, too!
Doggy!
- You really are stupid, Ivan. - And what are you, smart?
- Me? - Yeah!
- I dunno. - I don't know either.
- Are you mean? - No, why?
- I think whoever's mean, that's who's stupid. I am also not mean.
So we are neither of us fools!
Huh, now that's a thought...
Oh, what's this?
Is this yours?
- I don't know. Who can tell these little things apart?
We should ask.
I think mine was hungry...
Hey! Are you hungry?
OK, then, it must be mine!
Now I'll carry it to the city...
...and you, bear, bring the door! Cause you see, my hands are occupied...
Meanwhile, the masters were missing their dog.
- But what about the door?! - Wait... there it is!
Well, Ivan, good luck. I'll go back to the forest.
It's too noisy here, I don't like it...
If you need anything, call me...
The masters were happy that all ended well,
but Ivan got fired.
- We are mad at Ivan!! - Go, fool, back where you came from!
Well, this is a fine pickle. What do I do now?
Suddenly, a general appeared.
The tsar decrees:
He who can make the princess laugh Will get a caftan with gold needlework stuff,
And half the kingdom with that to go, and will become the tsar's son-in-law!
Ah, here's what I was waiting for! The coin will be of some use after all!
Ivan bought a new balalaika,
and went to the palace to make the princess laugh.
But what a great crowd! A thousand suitors had come,
All kinds and brands from many lands...
Oh, a goat!.. Whose are you?
Meanwhile, Ivan stood in line, listening to gossip
Her name is Irina, she's as fat as 10 ballerinas
She's such a beautiful lark - bawls so much that the dogs bark
and the horses buck! Yeah!
That princess really bawls - There's even mold upon the walls!
Ivan! Ivan! Why are you here?!!
Just look at the sort of people around you!
Bankers and ministers, stars from big towns, -- decent people, not clowns!
You're not in their league!
What chance is there for you, a simpleton with a balalaika?
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear!
Help!
Oh, wow!
Hey, Ivan!
Ah... bear.. hello. I didn't recognize you... you look rich.
Here, she was roaming in the woods... Is she yours?
Oh, sweetie!! You turned up!! Forgive me for selling you.
Thank you, bear! Hurrah! She's alive!
Get out, all of you!
What's this noise? Who are you?
Me? I'm Ivan the fool...
What a fool, calls himself a fool!...
And why are you crying and kissing a goat?
Well, there's... this story, you know...
So Ivan started telling her about his life.
Hey, you, is it true what they say, that the princess is named Irina?
- Yeah! - And she's as fat as ten ballerinas?
Ah! What?! I am the princess!!!
You?! Nah...
...you're lying! Look at how merry you are,
but they say that one's as sour as sauerkraut!
I tell you: I am the princess!
Ivan, look! That really is her!
Ah... oh!
So!
Oh, the tsar!
I'm sorry, Your Majesty, it was an accident, I didn't know...!
Oh, what a mess!
Daddy, he's funny.
I want to marry him!
Please don't execute me...
- No "executions" at all, you must marry her! - I couldn't...
- Don't disobey your Sovereign!
Kiss the bride!! Kiss the bride!!
So there was a wedding.
And I was at that feast...
I drank the beer and mead. It wet my whiskers, but never reached my lips.
The princess never cried again.
And if she ever became sad,
Ivan would play his balalaika and make a funny face, and all would be well!
So our Ivan's now in the palace there, with this important and pompous air;
and on Sundays when the tsar goes to the country to rest,
Ivan gives him a hand -- puts on the crown and rules the land...
This is where our story ends, Thanks for listening, my friends!
The End Subs by Eus, ? and Niffiwan (2021)